


It’s Different with Someone I Love

by tyelkormofuckyou



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Angst, Aromantic, Asexual Character, Demisexuality, F/M, M/M, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-18 22:33:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28999821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tyelkormofuckyou/pseuds/tyelkormofuckyou
Summary: Curufin doesn’t know what’s wrong with him.
Relationships: Celegorm | Turcafinwë/Curufin | Curufinwë, Curufin | Curufinwë/Curufin's Wife, Curufin | Curufinwë/Fëanor | Curufinwë (implied)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 14





	It’s Different with Someone I Love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Loptr_GodOfFire](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loptr_GodOfFire/gifts).



> Basically my Tyelcurvo HCs

She was a good woman, Curufinwë knew. Everyone would’ve been happy to marry her. She was sweet and light-hearted, and even quite intelligent. She liked violin music. She had Noldorin grey eyes and freckles on sunkissed skin.

Why didn’t he love her?

“Junior, I can’t believe you’re getting married,” Tyelkormo had laughed. “She’s so pretty, you’ll have wonderful children.”

“Be gentle,” Maitimo had warned. “Be careful and good to her. Tell her that you love her, and that you want to feel good with her.”

He didn’t. He never understood why on Arda Nelyo sneaked around with Finno, it was so much unnecessary effort. He saw his parents kissing, or laughing together, and tried to imagine himself in their place, some beautiful nis in his arms.

It never worked.

Then, he turned to other neri as well, maybe he was like Tyelko, who liked both? Or even like Nelyo, whom he never saw throwing an indecent look at a woman? He glanced at the shirtless apprentices while visiting his father’s forge, trying to paint an image of himself touching their sweaty bodies. Once he saw Tyelkormo with two of his friends, one male, one female, their muscled bodies tangled together. They were all beautiful, worth of a statue, fingers digging into flushed skin – but him, in his brother’s place? It wouldn’t make any sense. His great mind and imagination failed, all the fantasies were like lifeless paintings, watched from afar.

And now he was getting married. As the first one of all his brothers. Sweet Nelyo didn’t get to wed his Finno. Valar, Tyelkormo should’ve gotten married before him, maybe to Irissë? Even with his polygamous tendencies, he was better fit to an union of love than him.

_____

“Curvo.”

“Yes, atto?”

“My sweet boy, I have to ask you something.”

“Yes, atto?”

“You know the Silverworkers’ Guild desperately needs more silver, I’ve told you about it. The mine rejected our offer, and the price stays the same.”

“I know, atto. I’m sorry. How can I help?”

“My sweet Curvo, I can always count on you. The owner has a daughter, slightly younger than you. Maybe you’d become friends?”

_____

He’s wearing a beautiful dark jerkin shining with gold thread, and his white doublet underneath has big, bouffant sleeves. She looks beautiful with an open lace ruff and the richly embroidered dress. He can bet that this moment will become iconic.

“Do you love her, and promise to love her until the End?”

_No, I don’t!_

His father stands near, looking at him with a proud smile. His heart suddenly feels warm.

“I do.”

“You may now kiss the bride.”

It doesn’t feel bad. He doesn’t object when she gently licks his lower lip.

He forces a smile when they separate. She looks so happy.

He feels sorry.

_____

Laying with her doesn’t feel bad, either. His body reacts normally, it’s not like he’s never done anything like this before. He wants to lay with her, to give his atya an heir. But it doesn’t seem to be the same what she feels, with fire and love in her eyes.

 _It’s not your fault, lass,_ he tries to think when he finishes inside her.

_____

His small son is so beautiful, with strong little fists, and Fëanáro’s silver eyes. He loves him. He immediately names him Curufinwë.

_____

“My my… who’d think my little Curvo would become a man, a father, and give me a grandchild?” He hears happiness and pride in Fëanáro’s voice, and his heart beats so heavily and feels so warm. “Our heir, named after us… Curvo, I love you so much.”

Curufinwë’s eyes tear up. “I love you too, atto, so much. We’ll be free in Endor, forever together. We’ll avenge Haru, reclaim your treasure, and live in happiness, our family of three, I promise, and with my brothers too.”

“And your wife, my sweet.”

“I… I’m not sure if she really wishes to go there. I think she does it for little Curufinwë’s sake.”

Fëanáro embraces him. “I’m sorry, my boy. I know how you feel, when your own wife’s heart lies with the lies of the Valar rather than her own husband.”

“I’m sorry, atto… _She_ should’ve stayed with you.” He doesn’t know here he finds the courage to mumble the next words. “I don’t understand why any woman would even think of leaving a man like you.”

Fëanáro forces a chuckle. “You don’t know what you’re speaking of.”

“I’m married. I know.’

Fëanáro pulls away, too many different emotions on his face.

“Go to sleep, Curvo. It’s late, and I’m weary.”

_____

Curufinwë wakes up. He feels someone’s warm chest under his head and hand, and-

His sight comes back.

It’s Tyelkormo.

Now he remembers everything. How he cried, begging atto to come back, and then how his brother came and comforted him, and carved atto’s star into his skin, and then-

His hand flies behind his left ear. The wound is there, covered with thick pigment.

He wants to throw up. He’s a pervert. He should feel bad about it. What they did was disgusting and forbidden and terrible, and an abomination, and yet it made him feel good, way better than with his wife, ~~because he loves Tyelkormo and he didn’t love her~~.

_No._

Tyelkormo wakes up and looks at him, and doesn’t laugh like he always does. He opens his mouth to say something, but closes it right after. He understands it too.

There’s no coming back.

They’re in this together.

_____

They never touched each other like that again, and pretended it never happened. It was a result of their grief, a sick fruit of their tears.

_____

“I must go there! He needs me! Nobody can rescue him, but me!”

“You’re blind! What are you going to do? Ride to Angband and challenge Moringotto to a duel?!”

“I must do something! I can track him! I’m the best hunter-”

“No, you can’t! Nobody can!”

“I have to-“

Curufinwë bursts into tears. Tyelkormo immediately falls silent. It’s the second time he ever sees his brother crying.

“I lost him too, you know?! I love him as much as you! Don’t make me grieve more!” Curufinwë grabs his hand. “I can’t lose you!”

Tyelkormo wonders if Curvo feels it again, this sick longing – but he pushes it aside, at least he tries to, he can’t use his own baby brother to deal with his feelings like that-

“Curvo…”

“Shut up!”

Curufinwë kisses him, tears wet on his face. Tyelkormo doesn’t try to push him away, of course he doesn’t. He was never famous for being able to deny himself what he wanted.

_____

“Tyelko… when did you find out you’re not like… like most?”

“What do you mean?”

Curufinwë digs the stick deeper into the ashes near the dying fire.

“That you… like both nissi and neri.”

Tyelkormo shrugs. “I don’t know, I’ve never thought of romance or sex as a kid, so when I was like thirty, maybe?”

Curufinwë nods in acknowledgement.

“Why you asking?” Tyelkormo chuckles.

“I just got curious.”

“Okay.”

A log cracks in the flames.

“And you?”

“What?”

“When did you find out that you like neri?”

“Never.”

Tyelkormo seems puzzled. “What?”

Curufinwë looks up at him. “I’ve never told this to anyone, but… I don’t think I’m able to fall in love.”

Tyelkormo laughs (he always does).

“Nothing bad with that, aye? I won’t ever marry either, I’m not a romantic like Nelyo. I wouldn’t have access to all the ass.”

“I don’t want any _ass_ either, dear brother,” Curufinwë hisses.

Tyelkormo laughs again. “No way, little brother.”

“Fuck you,” Curufinwë spits out, and gets up.

“Curvo, wait.”

He stops. “What?!”

Tyelkormo looks worried and sad, and it looks almost unnatural on his ever-smirking face.

“I didn’t… force you… did I?”

It’s the first time either of them mentions _it_. Curufinwë stares.

“No, no… you didn’t.” He looks around helplessly. “It’s different… different with someone I-…,” he swallows. “Goodnight, Tyelkormo.”

**Author's Note:**

> It’s obviously not the end, duh


End file.
